Just wanted to write something new here since my birthday is so much in the past that it is New Year soon. I actually have quite a nice schedule of holidays every year! There is exactly half a year between two great holidays: New Year and my Birthday! I just wish there was something in between as well. )
But, well, it is not a New Year post yet... Though considering how often I make them, it can become one in the future. But I hope not. It is just something about my life if someone is curious.
It is moving, and at the same time it is not moving. But I am trying to stay positive, okay?
Good news - after a year of search I finally found a job! It is not something that I dreamed of when I was a child, but I have to face it now that not all the dreams will come true. Did I say it? Haha! Not all the dreams will come true immediately. I am too much of a dreamer, and I believe that everything will be fine. Just need to wait, and I have to do what I can do for now.
Yet... It is so hard to be waiting. I am only 22. I am already 22. They say you need to live every day as if it was the last day. I have to confess though: if it was the last day, I would probably have time to only say, "I love you" to my boyfriend, my mom and my best friend - and eat a great dinner! But if you think about like the last year... Then all the kinds of things, which I still want to do, jump into my mind. But I am just stuck here.
I want to take painting lessons very much. Moreover, I want to try on my own so many things. Every time I go to the artist's store, I feel excited and in urgent desire of having so many things. Trying to paint on cotton has been my recent dream, but I also want to try scrapbooking, and it has been a while since I could make something from clay. Aside from painting... I want to continue learning Japanese. And go to the dance class and learn how to dance waltz. I want to cook more interesting meals. I actually like cooking! Funny thing, but I even want to work, just not like now. I want to work with children and become a good teacher. I could be an English and literature teacher now, but most of all I would like to teach them the basics of art and make crafts together.
And most of all, I want to be with my boyfriend and do together all the things usual couples do every day and don't even know how happy they are: holding his hand on walks in the evening, watching movies on Friday night with a plate of tangerines, playing snowballs, meeting him after work or coming home and seeing lights in our windows, laughing together and actually seeing his smile, smelling his soft hair and so on, and so on.
Yet... What am I doing now? Of all the things I want to do I can only practice painting on my own a bit, which I am doing when I have time. But it is such a pain not to have the things I want to do it! Other things are as far from me as they were yesterday, and if I am moving towards them, it is too slow. This is what makes me sad.
But then again, I repeat again and again, "It is what I have to do for now. I waited for quite some time. I can wait a bit longer and just do what I can do for now. Just a bit longer. Just a bit."
After all, even though I cannot work as an art teacher for now, I found the job, right? It means, soon I will be able to buy artistic things for myself and have fun with it. It is very important for me to feel that I am improving myself at least a bit. In painting, writing, creating. And another important thing, my boyfriend is such an angel, really, and I hope we will meet soon. These two things, and I will not feel that I am stuck anymore, but then I will feel that I live to the fullest.
Love and art! And cheesecakes... You know? )))

P.S. By the way, I have made an English LiveJournal blog. If any of you have some, it would be fun to be friends there! The link to my blog is in the links to the right of this post.